Soul Searching
by Onchou
Summary: This story is set during episode 8 of Inuyasha The Final Act. Kagome decides to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to ensure Inuyasha's happiness. Will he be able to get her back? Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1- The Sorrow of the Soul

**Chapter One**

**The Sorrow of the Soul**

Today had been a difficult day for everyone. Kagome alone had been basically transported into a different dimension that was Mount Asuza, battled with an extremely evil version of her romantic rival, nearly fell off a cliff, fell from the sky out of nowhere (and, luckily, was caught before she smacked into the stone steps that led up to the mountain entrance), battled Naraku, and failed to protect the only person she had the power to save.

The others weren't much better off. Koga was nearly killed by Naraku and had his prized shards ripped violently from his flesh. Inuyasha once again failed to defeat Naraku and was forced to watch his first love begin to die. Miroku used his windtunnel to save Koga, which caused him to exacerbate his injury. Sango had to watch the love of her life damage himself even more. Worst of all, all of them had to watch as Naraku escaped them unscathed and victorious once again.

They ventured to a hill that had a beautiful view of the blood red sunset. Inuyasha, with Kikyo cradled in his arms, slowed his pace and asked his companions to leave them alone. Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Koga obediently fell back and sat further back on said hill. It was good that everyone chose to sit because Kagome's legs were wobbling and would probably give out at any second. She was in shock. She was in pain. She was desperate to change the fate of the woman whom she had failed to defend.

She watched with a heart of lead as Kikyo lay dying in Inuyasha's arms. She watched as Kikyo told Inuyasha that he had come for her, and that it had been enough. She watched as his face contorted into an expression she had never seen him make before. She listened as Miroku confessed his guilt over not killing Naraku when he had the chance and therefore partially caused Kikyo's death. She heard Sango, for the first time, praise Kikyo and say that she was a good person.

Kagome's thoughts drifted to her own mistakes and misconceptions about Kikyo. She felt an immense amount of guilt over perceiving Kikyo as the phantom that she had battled on Mount Asuza, and she felt even more guilt over the fact that her spiritual power was not enough to save the dying woman. She watched as tears began to flow down Inuyasha's grief-stricken face and heard his devastated cries before he pulled Kikyo into a tender kiss. It was odd, she felt no jealousy or anger. She just felt anguish. So much, in fact, that she wished she could let the kiss go on forever. It was in that moment Kagome made a choice, and she knew she could never take back. However, she had never been so sure about anything in her short life. She would give her soul to Kikyo to save her. Without a moment of hesitation, Kagome Higurashi gave up her soul to ensure that the love of her life would be happy for the rest of his life.

As she drew her final breath she heard a shard gasp quickly followed by a weak whisper from Kikyo.

"No Kagome. Please!"

But it was too late. Kagome allowed her soul to drift away from her. She watched it flow like a gentle stream towards the woman in Inuyasha's arms. It was a beautiful way to go, really, and Kagome was satisfied that the last thing she laid eyes on was the beautiful soul that she shared with the woman who would keep Inuyasha happy for the rest of his life. She knew that at least, in this way, she would always be connected to Inuyasha and the feudal era that she had grown so fond of.

"_Please, be happy, and bring him happiness," _was the last thought that fluttered through Kagome's mind.

Looking back on it, Inuyasha probably should've known that Kagome was going to do something drastic. She had already risked her life for Kikyo minutes before when she threw herself over her as Naraku attempted to impale her with his tentacles. Once they had gotten to the hill, he smelled her tears and heard her express remorse about not being able to save her. He could sense her pain, but he did not pay any attention. He was too focused on the woman he _thought_ was dying that it never occurred to him Kagome may die instead.

When Kikyo spoke to Kagome Inuyasha had barely flinched. He thought she was running off and he certainly didn't blame her for it, but then all of a sudden he felt so warm. It was as though Kagome was embracing him in that loving way that she sometimes did, but he felt no arms around him. He didn't want to take his eyes off of Kikyo, but he knew that he should see what was going on. Before he could peel his eyes away from her dying form, he heard screams from Miroku, Sango, and Shippo. He stood up and spun around just to be confronted with a fluid blue light. Momentarily stunned by the sheer beauty of the glowing river of her soul, he realized far too late what was going on. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He could only watch helplessly as the last of Kagome's soul entered Kikyo's body.

The others didn't seem to be as paralyzed as Inuyasha. Sango was violently shaking Kagome's lifeless body and pleading through her tears for her to come back. Miroku was vigorously scribbling something onto his sacred sutra paper and chanting as he wrote. Shippo sat at Kagome's feet, shaking the only part of her body that Sango wasn't affecting and crying even harder than the desperate girl. Koga was obviously confused and was running around the group trying to get someone to tell him what the hell was going on. Even Kikyo sprang into action, running full force toward Kagome's body and pushing Sango out of the way. Some small part of Inuyasha registered that Kikyo was healed, but he didn't have the strength to say anything. Or do anything. Or think anything. In fact, it wasn't until he was screamed at and shaken roughly by Kikyo that he even moved his eyes from Kagome. Rather than listening to Kikyo's panicked pleas, Inuyasha instead chose to drop to his knees and continue staring at his companion's motionless body.

"INUYASHA," Kikyo screamed once again, "we need to move quickly! Snap out of it! I NEED YOUR HELP! WE MAY BE ABLE TO SAVE HER IF YOU WOULD JUST MOVE!"

It was surprising to hear Kikyo panicked and yelling. It was so unlike her. Even after hearing her, it took him a few moments to process what she had said.

"WHAT? What even happened?! What can we do to save her?!" He shouted, quite literally jumping to attention.

"HELLO?! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN ASKING THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME," yelled Koga, who was clearly panicked and near hyperventilating.

"Shut _up_ you stupid fucking wolf! You were sitting right next to her! Why didn't you do something?! Why didn't you stop her?!" Inuyasha cried. He was once again tempted to fall to the ground but resisted in favor of being productive.

"How the hell was I supposed to know what was going on?! I STILL don't know what's going on!" He shouted desperately.

Inuyasha whirled on Sango and Miroku. "Then what about you two?! Surely you could see what was happening! Surely you idiots knew what she was doing." He gritted out through clenched teeth.

"Inuyasha," Kikyo said so gently and quietly Inuyasha almost didn't hear her, "now is not the time to be placing blame on anyone. Now is the time for action. Miroku is attempting to contact Kagome in the afterlife, though it is an extremely difficult task and is unlikely to work. We need to help him. If he does not succeed we need to begin preserving her body so that if we _do_ find a way to get her back here, she has somewhere to go! We can't afford for you have a meltdown right now!"

Inuyasha growled but knew that he absolutely had to keep it together.

"Just tell me what I need to do." He whispered in a broken voice as he tried to stop the steady flow of tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Drawing off of yours and Koga's demonic energy will give Miroku more power, and will aid him in making contact with Kagome. However, it is dangerous for y-"

"Well let's do it then! I don't care if it _is_ dangerous! We have to get her! We _have _to." Koga interrupted before Kikyo could finish. Inuyasha nodded in agreement and Kikyo led them to Kagome's body.

"_I'll do anything for her. I'll do anything to save her." _Inuyasha thought as he approached her.

"_Anything."_


	2. Chapter 2: The Lost Soul

A/N: Thank you to all of you who reviewed and favorited this story! I really appreciate it! I'm excited to continue with it and I hope you guys continue to enjoy it!

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

This was not what she expected in death. It stood to reason, in her opinion, that she would simply cease to exist. After all she had given her soul away and she no longer had a body, brain, or heart. But instead of shrinking into non-existence, Kagome found that she was floating in a black void. She could see nothing, hear nothing, and feel nothing. However, she found herself fully capable of thought and remembering where she had come from and how she had gotten there.

As she floated in the nothingness, she felt no remorse over her decision. She smiled as she thought about how much happier Inuyasha would be now. She was also glad to realize that the final battle with Naraku would probably be much easier for her friends now. Kikyo, she knew, would be even more powerful with her entire soul intact. Kikyo would know exactly what to do in the upcoming battle. Kikyo would succeed in killing the man that had caused her friends so much heart-ache and pain. She knew, deep in her non-existent heart, that Kikyo would do a much better job than she ever could have.

Suddenly the darkness around Kagome brightened a bit.

'That's odd,' she mused silently 'maybe I'm heading to the afterlife...'

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Miroku was finally finished chanting and scribbling on his sutras. He now sat holding a sutra in each hand with one above Inuyasha's neck and the other above Koga's.

"These charms will extract your demon blood. The dark power connected to that blood will then be transferred to me and, in combination with Lady Kikyo's purifying powers, I will be able to create a connection with the Kagome."

Shippo spoke for the first time since Kagome had collapsed and said, "Use my blood instead! Inuyasha is only a half demon! My blood will work better, right?!"

Kikyo laid a gentle hand on his head. "No, little fox. You will surely die under the stress of the extraction." She said calmly. Shippo put a soft paw on top of hers, and with tear filled eyes whispered,

"You're acting more like her now. Your hand feels so much like hers."

Kikyo let a small smile touch her lips. "Although we are not and have never been the same person, Kagome and I have always been connected. It is much easier for me to understand her now that this soul has returned to my body. I feel love and warmth like I had not felt even before I died. Kagome was filled with life in a way that I have never been, and this soul now reflects that."

None of the group members could hold back their torment after that. Even Miroku, who had yet to acknowledge any sort of shock or sadness, choked on a sob. No one had been even close to prepared to hear Kagome spoken of in the past tense. No one was expecting Shippo to open up to Kikyo that way. And certainly no one was expecting it when Inuyasha grabbed Miroku's wrist and slammed the monk's hand into his own jugular. He didn't bother proclaiming that he wanted- or more accurately NEEDED- to get started. Miroku let out a small screech but was too late to warn Inuyasha that the charm needed to be applied gently. The flimsy paper was immediately covered in blood and within moments it ran down the entire length of his body.

"Damn it, Inuyasha!" Miroku screamed as he hastily applied the other charm to Koga's tense neck. Sango and Shippo were tempted to run to Inuyasha's side and stop the blood flow, but when they realized that even Kikyo had not made a move to help him they decided it was best to stay where they were.

Once Koga's charm had become saturated with blood Miroku began to chant. The blood from the two demons began to glow red and slithered toward the monk like a pair of sickening snakes. Once the two streams made contact with him he took on the same malicious glow. Simultaneously, Kikyo held her hands together and said some sort of prayer. She sported a blue glow that rivaled the brightness of Miroku's when suddenly their auras met in between them. A tornado of ghastly purple light spun in the air forming what looked like a small black hole. The group watched in awe as the hole expanded to show an expanse of black filled with tiny sparkling lights. It was like looking up into the sky on a clear evening.

"Kagome is close by. The connection is nearly com-" Kikyo was cut off by a loud thump on the ground. Everyone turned to find Inuyasha, hair black as night, unconscious.

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Ah, it was dark again. Kagome found herself slightly disappointed that she hadn't been whisked away to some sort of heaven where she could be surrounded by chocolate and oden and kittens… or something like that.

'_But heaven wouldn't be heaven without Inuyasha,' _she noted.

Suddenly she felt something. It was a deep, cavernous sensation that stemmed from her innermost being. She recognized it as sadness, but it seemed so far away. In fact, everything suddenly felt far away. Was she moving? Was she losing herself to the void? Abruptly Kagome was confronted with the single thing she least expected to see.

"What are you doing here?"

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

A/N: This was a little shorter than I had planned but I think that was the best place to stop. What do you guys think?! Chapter 3: A Glimpse of the Soul is already in the works and will be posted soon!


	3. Chapter 3: A Glimpse of the Soul

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the reviews! It really motivated me to keep the story coming. You guys are great!

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

wwwwwwwwww

**A Glimpse of the Soul**

Everything was a bit on the peculiar side as Inuyasha began to regain consciousness. He caught a strange scent in the air that seemed very familiar but he couldn't quite place it. His ears funneled in the sounds of arguing performed by a chorus of male voices. Who did those voices belong to again? They were so annoying…

Inuyasha's eyes shot open as he realized that Koga's lackeys had made an appearance. They seemed to be attempting to convince him to go back to the den. He heard the argument begin to escalate in both vigor and volume, so he let out a loud groan to silence the idiots.

Everyone turned to him with stunned eyes, and within moments Kikyo and Sango were at his side. They asked him about his pain level, nausea, dizziness, blah, blah, blah. Inuyasha rolled his eyes dramatically but when he attempted to sit up he realized that perhaps their concern was not unfounded. A glance down at his long locks and it was revealed to him that he was only about half-way back to his normal state. With a salt and pepper head of hair and half formed dog ears, Inuyasha was struggling to endure the outrageous amount of blood he had lost.

He began to remember how he had ended up on the ground, drenched in blood, and ¾ human. An enraged growl permeated the air when he realized that the attempt at contacting Kagome had more than likely failed because of his rash actions and weak human blood. Finally, after a minute or two, he was able to sit up successfully and was instantly face to face with the wolf.

"This is your fault idiot." Koga hissed. "If you weren't so weak and stupid this woulda worked and we'd have Kagome back by now!"

Inuyasha closed his eyes and whispered, "I know."

Needless to say, Koga was taken aback. That was certainly not the reaction he had expected from the mutt. He huffed and plopped down from his crouching position as he rubbed the back of his head in an uncomfortable manner. He looked uneasily at Inuyasha and tried to think of something reassuring to say, but before he could muster up the confidence to comfort his "enemy," Kikyo spoke up.

"Actually," she said, "I do not think it was not going to work. Koga nearly lost consciousness himself, and he was not even as hasty as you, Inuyasha." She sent a lazy glare Kogas way before continuing. "Kagome was becoming more distant from us. I do not know what pulled her away, but it would've taken far too much power to reach her."

Inuyasha found it hard to believe that Koga had nearly lost consciousness. After all he had JUST been fighting with what sounded like a lot of spirit. He glanced at the other demon's face and realized just how pale and exhausted he looked. He had to admit, he was a little relieved that he was not the sole reason for the failure.

"So what can we do? There's got to be another way to get her back, right?! What about Sesshomaru? He can bring her back with Tenseiga!" Inuyasha suggested, looking a little enthusiastic. Miroku, Sango, and Shippo looked at him as if his brain had crawled out of his ear and walked off on its own. For him to suggest asking Sesshomaru for help, after all, was not any crazier.

Kikyo shook her head sadly. "No, her soul is within my body. The sword will be unable to recover her because her soul is already in use."

Inuyasha bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from shedding more tears. The last of his black hair was finally fading back to silver and suddenly he was able to identify that familiar scent. He looked up at the clouds, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Sesshomaru?"

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwww

"What are you doing here?" Kagome asked. She was absolutely stunned to see Inuyasha's half-brother before her with two human children in tow. The sullen man seemed to refuse to acknowledge her presence and she huffed in irritation.

'_That's just like Sesshomaru. Ignore me even when he should be surprised to see me."_

She turned her attention to Kohaku and Rin. "Kohaku! What are you doing here? How did you get here? And where, exactly, is here?" She exclaimed rapidly. Kohaku, too, did not even bat an eyelash at her unexpected appearance. It was then that she realized that they could not see or hear her.

Now, this was a new type of panic for Kagome Higurashi.

She did not expect anything in her afterlife. She expected not to have an afterlife at all! Well, perhaps a small part of her thought that she would somehow end up in a heaven/hell scenario… but mostly she thought it would be nothingness. She was** not** mentally prepared to be some sort of ghost where she could see people but people couldn't see her! Was this seriously what she had become?! Was this what she was doomed to do for the rest of eternity- watch people as they went along merrily in their everyday lives? What was next, receiving a chain to rattle and a white sheet to cover up with?! Maybe this actually was hell.

Her. Own. Personal. Hell.

Through her panicked haze, Kagome nearly missed the fact that Rin wasn't moving at all. She nearly missed the fact that the "path" that Sesshomaru was walking on was not a path at all, but an empty void that he was somehow able to step on. She nearly missed Kohaku slow his speed and shoot a panicked glance back towards the girl he was carrying on his back.

_Nearly. _

Kagome's emotions went in quick succession from shear panic to relief that she was not, in fact, a ghost destined to haunt he former acquaintances, back to shear panic as she realized that Rin was not breathing. At all.

Kohaku seemed to read her mind as he hesitantly said, "Lord Sesshomaru… Rin isn't breathing."

This was the very first time that she had seen this much anxiety from the great lord. She rushed to Rin instinctually, but realized that she couldn't even touch the girl, let alone save her life. How did Rin die? How had these three gotten into the same expanse she inhabited without being dead themselves?

Unable to even ask for these answers, she stayed by the girl's side as Kohaku followed Sesshomaru's orders to lay her down on the ground. She felt an odd sensation as the demon reached for the hilt of his sword. She was too concentrated on this feeling to notice that as soon as he withdrew his blade, he looked straight at her.

"Girl," Sesshomaru said in his usual cold tone, "what is the meaning of this?"

Kagome's eyes snapped up to his because, after all, it's not as though he was talking to Rin and she _was_ the only other girl there. To her knowledge anyway.

"Y-you can see me?!" She cried.

Sesshomaru squinted at her as if she had lost her mind. "I will say this only once more. Explain yourself or I will not hesitate to end your pathetic human life."

Kagome responded with a wry smile.

"It's a little late for that."

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwww

A/N: How do you like it so far? The next chapter will be up within a week! I'll do my best to hurry!


End file.
